Sunday, May 21, 2023

masturbation triggers and coping strategies

02/13/23 27M US

Q21: How frequently do you currently masturbate? What are its triggers? Describe your masturbatory fantasies. How do you feel about it?

 A21: "Once every three weeks. Videos on social media with sexual content that I scroll to. If I continue to pursue will lead eventually to pornography that leads to masturbation. The feeling of a LACK OF CONNECTION WITH PEOPLE / FRIENDS or a DIFFICULT TASK THAT I WANT TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM will often lead to more media consumption increasing the odds of falling for sexual content and starting the trigger" [caps mine].

Q46: What do you think will be the difficulties and struggles for you in trying to live celibate chastity?

46: "I think there will be challenges in communication that could make me feel isolated or not unified in service and fellowship with my fellow SOW Brothers. I will have to find a proper response to deal with that. Another Struggle will be to keep working on developing a breadth of relationships in my brotherhood and in the broader community. Working through DISCOURAGEMENT and FEAR will be an important skill I will need to continue to foster." [caps mine]

Thursday, April 27, 2023

example of aggressive / "you" communication

 27 apr 2023

on this day, I almost got into another "ineffective communication" (religious debate) with a born again 62M client who was healed gradually from listening to the late mr eli soriano, a protestant preacher, on radio. he eventually joined their flock & became an ardent collaborator.

he said: "sinasamba ninyo (you) si mama mary!" 

thank god, I was able to restrain myself and proceeded with the psychotherapy session which resulted in profuse tears and outright immediate FORGIVENESS for his MOTHER who verbally and physically abused them and led him to become a multi-drug addict in the 70s!


anger management tip: count 1 to 10

https://www.facebook.com/friends/requests/profile_id=100003655880140


GALIT YARN?
_______________
Di ko alam kung narinig nyo na 'tong theory/method na 'to..
Sabi, pag daw nagagalit ka, bumilang ka daw muna hanggang sampu (10) bago ka mag-react sa galit mo. That way, napapakalma mo ang sarili mo at maiiwasan mong makagawa o makasabi ng hindi maganda out of anger.
(Di ko na alam kung gano karaming pagbilang ng sampu na ang nagawa ko, pero kung convertable yun into peso, mayaman na ang buong Pinas. haha.)
Naaala ko, the first time I used this 'method' was in Highschool. (and until now, inaapply ko pa din sya paminsan minsan. hehe.)
Yung classmate ko, kinuha ung notebook ko tas ayaw nya ibalik kase kokopya ata ng assignment ko. (tikas e no? ako pa kinopyahan? haha)
Padating na yung Teacher at pag nakita na nagpapakopya ako, syempre mapapagalitan ako.
Sabi ko sa Klasmeyt ko, "Uy, akin na yan! (pabebe voice)"
Ayaw ibalik.
Dumating ung Teacher, nakita ung notebook ko sa kanila.
Pinatayo kami sa harapan at pinagalitan.
Naalala ko ung inis ko non, kase ndi ko mapagtanggol ung sarili ko dahil I'm the awkward-quiet-brainy girl ng room.
Nagbilang ako upto 10. Yung 10 naging 20. Naging 30. Naging 50, tas 100. 'Di effective.
Di ko kinaya, sabi ko sa Teacher ko.
"Mam, hindi po ako nagpapakopya."
Tas sabay harap sa Klasmeyt ko na noon ay nakatayo din,
"Di ko kasalanan na patubuan lang ng buhok ang ulo mo."
(MTRCB. Wag nyo po itong gagayahin.)
Nagulat sila.
Mas nagulat ako.
Pambihira. Di ako ganito magsalita. Sabi ko sa sarili ko.
Pinaupo naman kami ng Teacher ko.
Natapos ung klase, umalis na yung Teacher namin.
Isa-isang lumapit sakin ung mga kaibigan ko.
At parang mga bubuyog na sinasabing..
"Tama lang ung ginawa mo."
"Ok lang yon."
"Kasalanan naman nya"
"Di ko alam na kaya mo pala magsalita ng ganon."
"ang galing mo don, napahiya mo sya."
Well, I won't say na hindi sya maganda sa pakiramdam kase it does. Feeling ko nakaganti ako dun sa pasaway na kaklase ko.
Pero deep in my heart, alam kong mali ung ginawa ko.
I could have just explained myself to the Teacher, no need to humiliate my classmate.
Anger is normal. Tao tayo e.
But without guidance, anger can make us say/do things we're not built of.
Hindi naman tayo built to degrade and humiliate others.
Hindi naman tayo built to say foul words.
And anger should never be an excuse to disrespect people.
Malinaw na sinabi sa Bible, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." - Ephesians 4:26-32
So anong dat kong gawin pag galit ako, ate Jo?
Una, magbilang ng sampu. (gawin mo lang sa isip mo. wag mo iverbalize, baka sabihin ng kaharap mo binibigyan mo ng taning ang buhay nya. HAHAHA). Hanggang feeling mo may magagawa o masasabi kang ndi maganda, magbilang ka lang jan.
Hasty temper will make mistakes. - Proverbs 14:29
Keep your temper under control; it is foolish to harbor a grudge. - Ecclesiastes 7:9
At lastly, Don’t try to get revenge for yourselves, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I will pay it back, says the Lord. -
Romans 12:19
Yan din ang pinakadahilan bat ndi ako naganti if someone does me wrong. Si Lord na bahala sa kanila. Yes, I can stand up for myself, pero pag sobra na, nako, si Lord na bahala pumalo sa kanila.
So kung galit ka as of the moment, sabayan mo akong magbilang upto ten. Hehe.

Sunday, April 23, 2023

the life of a parish priest in a nutshell

https://www.facebook.com/imay.olila

23 April 2023

Gumising ka maaga, kasi linggo
Kahit nung nakaraang araw, gabi ka na din nakatulog Nagmisa ka, dalawa agad, Ginalingan mo, para magsimba ulit sila-
Ayaw mo silang madala
Pinilit mong kumbinsihin yung mga magulang bakit mahalaga ang first communion….
Sinikap mong màunawaan ng mga bata kung ano ang Banal na Eukaristiya…kulang na lang tumambling ka…
Humarap ka sa ilang mga tao, iba’t iba ang concerns nila
Dagdag isipin din
Pinagsabihan mo mga kabataan mo sa parokya, malilikot sila
Nayamot ka
Naglibing kang ng isang lingkod ng simbahan malapit sa iyong puso
Malungkot ka
Nagbasbas ka ng isang bagong kapilya at nakisaya sa kanila
Nakinig ng ilang musika sa isang pagdiriwang, nag enjoy ka sana, pero talagang pagod ka na…magdadadrive ka pa nga pala…
Simple lang naman gusto mo, sana sa hapunan, may itlog na pula🍳

Sunday, March 26, 2023

coping with celibate sexuality

 09/07/22 M24 SW Residential Affiliate

"I know that I will always have sexual desires as long as I'm alive. I think the best thing to do is to be OPEN to a group of people i trust, mainly something in our brotherhood that w recall a MEN'S GROUP. The more I SHARE the better I can CONTROL or at least UNDERSTAND how to control it. 

Also having ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS within my group."

  

Friday, January 27, 2023

reasons for referral to counsel seminarians

27 jan 2023

Reasons for Referral to counsel seminarians: 1. Address current stressors (usually academics, plus interpersonal), 2. Help heal past traumas (especially Adverse Childhood Experiences). 3. Treat any existing personality traits that are dysfuctional or potentially dysfuctional. 4. Help integrate psycho-sexual issues & concerns with the priestly celibate lifestyle. 5. Help integrate faith in a personal trinitarian God (core value) & vision-mission (personal, diocesan / congregational, national, universal) with bio-psycho-socio-cultural realities. 6. Learn life skills (including study habits & attitudes & healthy coping sttategies) for improved quality of life. 7. Develop sense of stewardship over time, talent, & treasure & sense of justice & integrity of creation in one's daily life. And may God help us all!

😉




T his is in response to doc susan's question. Truly, this is a life-long mission! BUT, like the mustard seed (gospel today) we start SMALL & leave the rest to the seminarian & God's mysterious grace.

Thursday, August 4, 2022

aug 4 feast of st marie vianney / (parish) priests

 PARI SIYA

Maraming sinasabi tungkol sa kanya ang mga tao ngunit tinatanong ba siya kung ano ang totoo?
Tagapakinig siya ng mga problema ng iba, ngunit may nagtatanong ba kung siya’y may problema?
Tagapagdala siya ng kapatawaran, ngunit pinapatawad ba siya kung siya’y nagkukulang?
Tagapagpagaling siya ng mga maysakit ng kaluluwa, ngunit may nakakaalala ba kapag may sakit siya?
Tagapag-ugnay siya ng tao at Diyos, ngunit bakit pinagdududahan ang kanyang mga kilos?
Tagapag ingat siya ng mga sikreto ng iba, ngunit bakit itsini-tsismis siya sa kanyang Parokya?
Tagapaghatid siya ng katatagan at pag-asa, ngunit may aasahan ba siya kapag siya tumanda na?
Tagapangaral siya ng aral ng Panginoon, ngunit pinupuri ba siya sa magandang sermon?
Marami pang masasabi tungkol sa kanya may nakakainis, may nakakasiya, ngunit pipilitin pa rin niyang umunawa at ibibigay pa rin ang buhay niya para sa madla. Kahit sa maghapo’y pagod siya at nag-iisa, patuloy pa rin siyang maglilingkod dahil “PARI SIYA!”
(Straight from the Heart)❤️
Let us Pray for Our Priests🙏
(source: fr efre diaz' post 2022 aug 4)