Re: Fraternal Correction
By: Juan Alonso (2010 June).
Fraternal correction: A help along the path to holiness.
Fr: https://opusdei.org/en/article/fraternal-correction-a-help-along-the-path-to-holiness
Fraternal
correction is a sincere and affectionate suggestion that a Christian gives to
his or her neighbor to help them along the path to holiness. It is a means of
spiritual progress by which a person can grow in self-knowledge, becoming aware
of defects that might be hidden or disguised by self-love. It is often a
necessary precondition to enable us to tackle those defects with God’s help,
and so improve our Christian living.
1. A deep-rooted Christian
tradition
The heart of fraternal correction is deep in the Gospel. Jesus
tells us to practice it in the context of unlimited forgiveness and service to
the most vulnerable. If
your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him
alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Jesus
himself corrects his disciples on several occasions, as the Gospels show us: he
reproves them when they are jealous of someone else casting out demons in His
name; he rebukes Peter firmly because his way of thinking is not God’s but
men’s; he redirects James and John’s misguided ambition, affectionately correcting
their mistaken understanding of the kingdom he announces, while acknowledging
their courageous readiness to “drink of His cup”.
Starting from Jesus’ teaching and example, fraternal correction
has become a sort of Christian family tradition that has been practiced in the
Church from the earliest times. It is a duty not only of justice but of love.
Among the recommendations given by St Paul to the Christians at Corinth is
to exhort one another (exhortamini invicem).
Plenty of passages in the New Testament witness to the watchfulness of the
shepherds of the Church to correct the errors that were worming their way into
some of the first Christian communities. St Ambrose testified to the practice
of fraternal correction when he wrote, in the fourth century, “If you discover
some defect in a friend, correct him privately (...) For corrections do more
good and are more profitable than friendship that keeps silent. If the friend
is offended, correct him just the same, firmly and without fear, even though the
correction tastes bitter to him. It is written in the Book of Proverbs that
wounds from a true friend are preferable to kisses from flatterers (Prov
27:6).” And St Augustine also warns against the grave fault entailed in
omitting to offer this help to one’s neighbour: “You do worse by keeping silent
than he does by sinning.”
2. A Christian necessity
The natural basis for fraternal correction is the need everyone
has to be helped by others to attain their goal, because no-one can see
themselves objectively, nor is it easy to recognize one’s own faults. Hence
this practice has also been recommended by classical authors as a way of
helping friends. In turn, allowing oneself to be corrected by others is a sign
of maturity and a condition for spiritual progress: “the good man rejoices to
be corrected; every wicked man reacts violently against guidance” (admoneri bonus gaudet; pessimus quisque
correctorem asperrime patitur).
Christians need their brothers
and sisters in the faith to do them the favour of fraternal correction.
Together with other essential helps – prayer, mortification, good example – the
practice of fraternal correction (which was recommended in Jewish Wisdom
literature) is a fundamental means for reaching holiness, and contributes to
the spreading of the Kingdom of God in the world. He who heeds instruction is on the path
to life, but he who rejects reproof goes astray.
3. Correcting out of love for
our neighbour
Christian fraternal correction is born of charity, the
theological virtue by which we love God above all things and our neighbour as
ourselves for love of God. Since charity is the “bond of perfection” and the
form of all the virtues, the exercise of fraternal correction is a source of
personal sanctification for the person who gives it and the person who receives
it. It offers the giver a chance to practice our Lord’s command, this is my commandment, that you love
one another as I have loved you. It offers the receiver the
lights they need to renew their following of Christ in the specific point that
has been corrected.
To practise fraternal correction – which is so deeply rooted in
the Gospel – is a proof of supernatural trust and affection. Be thankful for it
when you receive it, and don’t neglect to practice it with those around you. Fraternal
correction is not the outcome of irritation at another’s faults, or of offended
pride or wounded vanity. Love is the only possible motive for fraternally
correcting our neighbour. As St Augustine teaches, “we must correct out of
love, not out of a desire to hurt, but with the loving intention of helping the
person’s amendment. If we act like that, we will be fulfilling the commandment
very well – if your
brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. Why
do you correct him? Because you are upset that he has offended you? God forbid.
If you do it out of self-love, your action is worthless. If it is love that
moves you, you are acting excellently.”
4. A duty of justice
Christians have the duty to correct their neighbour fraternally
as a grave requirement of the virtue of charity. In the Old Testament we find
examples where the Lord God reminds the prophets of this duty, as in the case
of Ezekiel. So you, son
of man, I have made a watchman for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a
word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the
wicked, ‘O wicked man, you shall surely die,’ and you do not speak to warn the
wicked to turn from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his
blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked to turn from his
way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity, but you
will have saved your life. The same idea appears in the New
Testament. The Apostle James says, My
brethren, if any one among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him
back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way
will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. And
St Paul considers fraternal correction as the best way to bring back someone
who has strayed from the path: If
anyone refuses to obey what we say in this letter (...) do not look on him as
an enemy, but warn him as a brother. We cannot be passive or
indifferent towards our neighbour’s faults. Still less can we indulge in
complaining or angry accusation. “Friendly correction is more beneficial than
violent accusation. The first inspires compunction, but the second only arouses
indignation.”
All Christians are in need of this help, but we have a special
duty to practice fraternal correction to those who are in positions of
authority, spiritual guidance, formation of others, etc. in the Church,
institutions that form part of the Church, families and Christian communities.
People who are in charge of others need that help more urgently because they
have more responsibility, because no-one
after lighting a lamp covers it with a vessel, or puts it under a bed, but puts
it on a stand, that those who enter may see the light. In the
same way, those who work in governance or formation have a special
responsibility to practice it. On this subject, St Josemaría teaches, There is a great love of comfort, and
at times a great irresponsibility, hidden behind the attitude of those in
authority who flee from the sorrow of correcting, making the excuse that they
want to avoid the suffering of others.
They may perhaps save themselves some discomfort in this life.
But they are gambling with eternal happiness – the eternal happiness of others
as well as their own – by these omissions of theirs. These omissions are real
sins.
5. Dispositions necessary for giving and receiving fraternal
correction
Fraternal
correction is one of the most authentic manifestations of the “communion of
saints” among those of us who still live as pilgrims in this world, while being
united to the dead and risen Christ. All Christians, in Christ, form one single
family, the Church, for the praise and glory of the Blessed Trinity. Christians
are stimulated to maintain the practice of fraternal correction by the
realization of their responsibility for one another’s holiness, i.e. their duty
to cooperate so that every baptized person perseveres in the place where they
have been called by God to become holy. This awareness becomes progressively
keener if we develop the habit of concern for our neighbour – the healthy psychological prejudice of
thinking habitually about others.
Another
equally necessary attitude is to be prepared to overcome the difficulties that
may arise. These are:
(1)
an excessively human and not very supernatural approach that leads us to think
that it is not worthwhile making the correction;
(2)
the fear of upsetting the person whom we correct;
(3)
the idea that our own unworthiness prevents us from correcting the other
person, whom we see as better qualified or better disposed;
(4)
the idea that it is not appropriate to correct someone else when we ourselves
have the same defect, to an even greater degree; and
(5)
the thought that there is no possibility of any improvement in the person
concerned, or that they had already been corrected for that same fault with no
apparent results. The ultimate source of these objections is usually human
respects, fear of being badly thought of, or indolence. They are easily dealt
with if we keep a vivid awareness of the communion of saints, and hence of the
loyalty we owe to the Church, her pastors and institutions, and all our
brothers and sisters in the faith.
To
receive fraternal corrections fruitfully, we need to have a keen desire for
holiness. This will enable us to see the admonishment we have received as a
divine grace aimed at improving our faithfulness to God and service to others.
The exercise of humility will help us to receive correction gratefully, and
will enable us to hear God’s voice and not harden our hearts.
6. How to give fraternal correction and how to receive it
… St
Augustine recommends this examination of conscience because we often find it
easy to notice in other people the very defects we suffer from ourselves. “When
we have to reprimand others, let us first think whether we have committed that
fault; and if we have not committed it, let us consider the fact that we are
human beings and we could have committed it. Or whether we have been guilty of
it in the past, even though not at present. And then let us be mindful of our
shared weakness, so that mercy, and not animosity, precedes the correction we
give.”
Considerateness and affection are the distinguishing marks of
Christian charity and also, therefore, of the practice of fraternal correction.
To ensure that this admonition is the expression of genuine charity, it is
important to ask ourselves before giving it: “How would Jesus act towards this
person in this situation?” Then it will be easier to see that Jesus would
correct not only promptly and frankly, but also kindly, with understanding and
respect. Hence St Josemaría teaches: When
you have to make a fraternal correction, do it with great kindness – great
charity! – in what you say and in the way you say it, for at that moment you
are God’s instrument. A specific note of kindness is to give
the admonishment in private with the person concerned, and to avoid anything in
the way of comments or jokes that might detract from the supernatural tone of
the correction.
When
we give fraternal corrections we should avoid a possible tendency to be overly
impersonal, taking refuge in anonymity. This inclination disappears when, with
God’s grace, we make a specific act of loyalty and think about the communion of
saints. Loyalty will lead us to correct the other person face to face, without
pretense and without humiliating them, but frankly, since what we are seeking
is their good and the holiness of the Church. The firmness that is a necessary
part of fraternal correction does not conflict with gentleness and
considerateness; the person giving the correction should be like an iron fist
in a velvet glove.
The
virtue of prudence has an important role to play as guide, rule and measure of
how to make (and receive) fraternal correction. “Prudence disposes reason to
discern in every circumstance our true good and to choose the right means for
achieving it.” A rule of prudence that is borne out by experience is to ask a
competent person (spiritual director, priest, superior) for advice on whether
the envisaged correction is opportune. This consultation is in no way an
accusation or denunciation, but is a wise exercise of the virtue of prudence,
seeking to ensure that the same person is not corrected for the same fault by
several different people, and it helps those giving the correction to mature
their judgment and form their own consciences – in short, to become souls of worth. Prudence
will also lead us not to correct someone frequently about the same topic,
because we should rely on God’s grace and the passage of time for others to
improve.
Matters
that may be the subject of fraternal correction include all aspects of
Christian living, because all of them together make up the context of personal
sanctification and the apostolate of the Church. Generally speaking, they would
include:
(1)
habits contrary to the law of God and the commandments of the Church;
(2)
attitudes or behaviours that conflict with the witness that all Christians are
called to give in their family and social life, in their job, etc.;
(3)
single faults if they represent grave harm to the Christian life of the person
concerned or the Church.
When
we receive fraternal correction it is important to maintain the right attitude,
which can be summed up as follows: supernatural outlook, humility and
gratitude. It is appropriate to accept a fraternal correction gratefully,
without arguing or offering explanations or excuses, because we see the person
who corrects us as a brother or sister who is concerned for our holiness. If we
find ourselves annoyed or put off by a correction, we should meditate on the
words of St Cyril: “Reproof makes the humble improve, but seems unbearable to
the proud.” In such cases, we should meditate on the correction in God’s
presence to grasp its full meaning, and if we still cannot understand, we should
consult a prudent person (priest, spiritual director, etc.) to help us
comprehend it properly.
7. Fruits of fraternal correction
The practice of fraternal correction brings many benefits,
both for the giver and for the receiver. As a specific act of Christian
charity, it bears fruits of joy, peace and mercy. It also requires us to
exercise many virtues, starting with charity, humility, and prudence. It
improves our formation on the human plane, making us more courteous; it
improves interpersonal relationships; it impedes malicious gossip or unkind
jokes about our neighbour’s behaviour or attitudes; it strengthens the unity of
the Church and her institutions at every level, thus giving greater
effectiveness to the evangelizing mission; it guarantees faithfulness to the
spirit of Jesus Christ; and it enables Christians to experience the firm
security of knowing that we can count on the help of our brothers and sisters
in the faith: A brother
helped by his brother is like a strong city.
