Re:
Celibacy Formation Model
Fr:
Falkenhain, J. M., OSB, PhD Psychology (2013 Summer), “Live celibacy: A proposed model for
celibacy formation programs.” Human
Development, 34(2), 23-29.
===================================================
The
Model: Celibacy as Lived Experience
FACTORS
/ DIMENSIONS
>MOTIVES
à
STRENGTHS / SKILLS
>THEOLOGIES
à
LIMITATIONS
>SEXUAL
IDENTITY = SEX + GENDER + SEXUAL ORIENTATION + HISTORY OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCES +
VALUES & ATTITUDES RE: SEX
NB:
These factors are aspects of the SELF that formands must KNOW and ACCEPT about
themselves in order to make a FREE and HEALTHY choice of celibate chastity.
They serve as the broad OUTLINE or FRAMEWORK for an effective celibate
formation program.
GOAL
(of Formation Model): to give candidates the INFORMATION and SKILLS needed to
KNOW and ACCEPT themselves along these dimensions.
===================================================
Goal
of Article: to articulate a FRAMEWORK with which to construct celibacy
formation programs (men & women) adapted for screening and ongoing
formation purposes
>”Despite
the relative abundance of writings on the theology, history and spirituality of
celibate chastity, a recent review of literature* uncovered few CONCRETE and
IMPLEMENTABLE models for formation” (p. 24).
[*”In
our review of the literature, no published models for celibacy formation for
men and women religious were identified” (p. 24)].
>Delivery
Systems (US Conference of Bishops, 2006)
-
instruction
-
personal reflection
-
community life and feedback
-
application to the tasks of seminary life
-
formation advisors
-
mentors and directors
-
spiritual direction
-
PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING
>7
Guiding Elements in Celibacy Formation with Graduate Seminarians (Krenik, 1999:
National Catholic Educational Association)
1. internalization
of presbyteral values
2.
pattern of contemplative prayer
3.
capacity for solitude
4.
age-appropriate PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
5.
capacity for INTIMACY in human friendships
6.
experience of COMMUNITY support
7.
ACCOUNTABILITY to others
>Definitions
-
chastity = responsible living out of one’s gift of sexuality, to which ALL Catholics
are called
-
celibacy = the more particular call to a life of ABSTINENCE from marriage and
general expressions of sexuality (vs. non-genital expressions of sexuality)
=
celibate chastity
>Overview
(a)
objective aspect: define PARAMETERS, i.e., abstention from marriage and genital
expressions of sexuality
(b)
subjective aspect: subjective EXPERIENCE of living of the chaste celibate,
including the following factors:
-
motives for choosing celibacy
-
theologies of celibacy
-
sexual identity
-
strengths and skills for living the celibate life
-
personal limitations for living a life of celibate chastity
>Three-fold
Process of Celibacy Formation (USCCB, 2006)
1.
Self-knowledge [thinking]
2.
Self-acceptance [feeling]
3.
Self-gift [acting]
==================================================
FACTORS
/ DIMENSIONS
A.
MOTIVES FOR CELIBACY
>clear
sense of motives
-
“What has landed you in the celibacy box?” (very basic but given very little
thought)
-
“Are you choosing celibacy simply because it comes along with the territory of
priesthood/religious life, or are there OTHER reasons why you believe a life of
celibacy will be a good and responsible way of living out your sexuality as a
Christian?”
NB:
motives: conscious & unconscious; multiple and multi-layered; changeable,
shifting, can become clearer or grown into; initial and ultimate
>
invalid (vs valid) motives (Schneiders, 2001), include:
-
fear of marriage, sexuality and parenthood
-
denial of sexual desires
-
unresolved parent issues
-
sexual naivete
-
confusion about sexual orientation
-
desire for same-sex environment in which to gain access to possible sexual
partners
-
desire for an environment that will help CONTROL undesirable, dysfunctional or
addictive sexual behaviors or desires
>Conclusion:
A candidates’ motivation for choosing celibacy must NOT have psychosexual and
psychosocial DYSFUNCTION at its roots!
>Avoid
extremes: (a) AVOID painful questions about sexuality
(b) GRATIFY harmful
sexual impulses
>Initial
Motives: valid
Ultimate Motives: “One’s motives as the time
of ordination or final vows must be VALID, HEALTH, and CAPABLE of sustaining a
life of celibate chastity” (p. 25).
>Formation
Goals for Celibacy Formation:
1.
to CLARIFY initial motives
2.
assist EVALUATE the validity and health of these motives
3.
assist EXPLORE additional, healthy motives
4.
assist* raise and answer QUESTIONS
-
“Do I currently have motivations that are capable of SUSTAINING a life of
celibate chastity with all its particular CHALLENGES and OPPORTUNITIES for
personal and spiritual growth?” (p. 25)
------
*raise
questions REGULARLY, e.g. 1/semester and in the months leading to ordination or
final profession
>context:
spiritual direction, reading, coursework, interview with more experienced
community members, meetings with formation personnel, and INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING
>Questions:
-
“WHY do you think you have chosen a life of celibate chastity, so far?”
-
“How have your motives for living a celibate life CHANGED in the course of
formation?”
-
Can you IMAGINE yourself in another vocation that doesn’t require celibacy?”
-
If celibacy was not required of priests/religious, do you think you would
sthill CHOOSE to be celibate?”
B.
THEOLOGIES OF CELIBACY
“Ultimately,
our strongest motives for living the celibate life are THEOLOGICAL” (p. 25).
>means
to an end: “for the sake of the KINGDOM”
“UNDIVIDED LOVE for
Christ”
>Conclusion:
“Common to all theologies of celibacy is the notion that the practice most
result in CONVERSION to Christ and an increased capacity for LOVE – love of God
and love of neighbor, including an increased capacity of God’s and our
neighbor’s love” (p. 26).
1. For
active/missionary & diocesan priesthood
- Celibacy
as a means to free one’s time, energies and availability to SERVE a wider group
of people, e.g. for the kingdom
2. For
contemplative communities
- SPOUSAL
theology of celibacy – to pursue an UNDIVIDED or UNMEDIATED love for Christ
3. Other
charisms
- Celibacy
as ASCETICISM – as a means of conquering the passions (-) and participating
more deeply in the life of Christ (+)
è Survey
the Church’s THEOLOGY OF SEXUALITY with emphasis on Chastity
Sources:
Catechism of the Catholic Church, John Paul II’s Theology of the Body,
Scheniders (2001), Founders, Church fathers and mothers, Saints and theologians
related to one’s congregations’ charism
>The
“call to celibacy is rooted in the broader call to chastity, a call shared with
married and single people” (p, 26). [Catholic sexuality]
>”Theological
REFLECTION assists the candidate in DEEPENING and PERSONALIZING his or her
theological understanding of what it means to live the celibate life.
The
young man or woman who spend time looking for and recognizing the promised
FRUITS of celibacy is not only likely to remain FAITHFUL to that promise in the
long run, but also to hone and fine tune SKILLS for celibacy and conversion as
his or her priestly or religious life continues” (p, 27).
C.
SEXUAL IDENTITY
>”Grace
builds on nature” (human nature as sexual beings). – St. Thomas Aquinas
>responsible
education in human sexuality (Pastores
Dabo Vobis, 1992; Program for Priestly Formation, 2006)
à Build relationship with a
medical or mental health professional* or agency (e.g. treatment centers
specializing in working with clergy & religious)
*Professional
Qualifications: (a) understand the body of literature on human sexuality &
(b) able to appreciate the complexity of these issues as they interface with
our Catholic faith
>Course
Outline for Sexual Identity: SEX + GENDER + SEXUAL ORIENTATION + SEXUAL HISTORY
+ VALUES & ATTITUDES on sexuality
>”Just
as our identity is COMPLEX and HIGHLY INDIVIDUAL, so is our sexual identity
complex and particular to the person” (p. 27).
à “Describe yourself as a
sexual person!” (Screening Interview Question)
-Responses
usually limited to sexual history and sexual orientation
1. SEX
= one’s biologically determined (c/o chromosomes and physiology in the 2nd
trimester of gestation + puberty) status as male or female (DICHOTOMOUS vs.
gender); straightforward (except in androgen-insensitivity disorder &
androgenital syndrome)
2. GENDER
= a more CONTINUOUS, psychological and SUBJECTIVE sense of one’s self as male
or female, i.e., masculinity and femininity, including the following factors:
sex, environment, larger culture, social expectations
-“Every
culture has a range of MODELS and NORMS inked to what it means to be masculine
and feminine & these form the basis of many GENDER STEREOTYPES” (p. 27).
à ANDROGYY = (not gender
neutrality) an individual’s capacity to incorporate qualities and personality
characteristics stereotypically associated with the opposite gender into his or
her personality without necessarily compromising the individual’s primary sense
of self as male or female
-Research:
Priests with capacity for patience, listening, emotional support, and
appreciation of beauty = + .r (correlated) with behavioral flexibility,
competence, confidence in decision, and NURTURE (Crooks & Baur, 2005)
3.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION = ‘primary persistent”
target of sexual arousal (Ellis & Mitchell, 2007), i.e., heterosexual,
homosexual, bisexual
-factors:
social desirability, cause, choice, changeability, morality which all
complicate one’s understanding and acceptance
à access ACCURATE SCIENTIFIC
information & THOROUGH knowledge of Church teachings leading to clear and
consistent set of policies and practices re: admission & formation of
candidates with homesexual & bisexual orientations
-NB:
“Formation programs that avoid addressing issues of sexual orientation may
inadvertently communicate that the issue is either a TABOO, UNIMPORTANT, or may
enable a young man or woman to continue living a state of CONFUSION regarding
his or her sexual orientation” (p. 28).
-Research
on clergy sexual offenders points to CONFUSION about one’s sexual orientation
(Rather than a particular heterosexual or homosexual orientation) as a key
factor contributing to sexual offense vs minors (John Jay College Research
Team, 2011; Rossetti, 1996) (p. 28)(.
4. HISTORY
OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCES: dating, sexual activity, possible HARMFUL, EXTREME &
DEVIANT sexual experiences (e.g. victim or perpetrator of abuse, high-risk
sexual behaviors, promiscuity, sexual activity in early childhood), internet
porn
è NB:
indicators of compulsivity & addiction
5. VALUES
& ATTITUDES re: sexuality, including
a. General
Topics: repulsion, fear, avoidance, distrust
b. Specific
Topics: homosexuality, premarital sex, sex roles, gender stereotypes, RESPECT
for members of the opposite sex, comfort around sexual stimuli
-typically
formed by: parents in childhood (early and middle), peers, culture, adolescence
and young adulthood, FAITH and RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
NB:
“When it comes to screening and educating candidates in the area of sexual
identity, formation personnel should be looking for INTEGRITY or INTERNAL
CONSISTENCY among the five dimensions” [of sexual identity] (p. 28).
>INTEGRAL
SEXUAL IDENTITY = all parts of sexual identity are KNOWN and WORKING WELL
TOGETHER (vs. repressed or in conflict with one another) (p. 29)
à INTERNAL DISSOCNANCE à extreme defensiveness or
limitations in one’s ability to enter freely the formation process or the
ministry
E.g.
“A young woman where overly harsh or negative values re: homosexuality is in
conflict with herself as attracted to other women à may lead to being
COMPARTMENTALIZED, INTELLECTUALIZED, or even AVOIDANT, in order to deal with
the TENSION” (p. 29).
-may
be triggered by THREATENING ATTRACTIONS or UNACCEPTABLE PARTS of her identity
D.
SKILLS AND LIMITATIONS
1.
Skills
>Program
for Priestly Formation (USCCB, 2006)
-appropriate
self-disclosure
-capacity
for self-reflection
-capacity
for solitude
-ability
to hold all persons in the mystery of God
-vigilance
and mastery over one’s impulses
-effective
boundary setting
-care
for others
-commitment
to mastering sexual temptations &
-capacity
for giving and receiving love (p. 29)
>AFFECTIVE
MATURITY (Program…, 2006 & Pastores…,
1992)
-8
Emotional Competence SKILLS (Caroluyn Saarni, 2000)
1.
awareness of one’s emotional state
2.
skill in discerning others’ emotions
3.
skill in naming emotions
4.
capacity for sympathy and empathy
5.
skill in adaptively coping with unpleasant emotions
6.
awareness of the relationship between the type/quality of relationship and
7.
the immediacy and genuineness of emotional display (i.e, boundaries),
8.
capacity for emotional self-efficacy
>HELPFUL
CELIBATE CHASTITY SKILLS (Falkenhein)
-prayer
life: healthy & regular
-insight
into the effects of one’s emotions on behavior
-capacity
for VULNERABILITY in relationshiops
-impulse
control
-ability
to delay gratification
-capacity
to deal with loneliness
-social
problem-solving skills
-ability
to rely on close relationships for support and personal accountability
GOALS
|
METHODS
|
To
impart basic INFORMATION
|
Lectures,
readings, workshops
|
To
share experiences & practice emotional and social problem-solving SKILLS
|
Case
studies, scenarios
|
Other
methods: spiritual direction, counseling, the daily dynamics of relationships
with community, occasional challenge to celibate living
2.
Limitations
>if
absence of skills
à help candidate grow in
AWARENESS of his limitations, to REMEDIATE these, when possible, and EVALUATE
how to weigh these limitations in the final decision on whether to take a
LIFE-LONG vow of celibate chastity
===================================================
NB:
“Any program for celibacy formation should be considered a work in progress –
one that improves as a result of regular PROGRAM EVALUATION and the SHARING of
ideas with other professionals who do the work of celibacy formation in the
church” (p. 29).
